Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
