he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it because I queefed?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
