So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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