Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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