Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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