Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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