YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
