Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
