I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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