your parents love me but you hate me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
