apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
