Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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