you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
