I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
