Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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