...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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