did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize