then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
