Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
