I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize