I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
