Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
