thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
