There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
