When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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