I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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