you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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