Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
