No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
