Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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