Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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