The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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