so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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