Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's not a foreskin expert like you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
