Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
