people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
