Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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