i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize