You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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