ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
