oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
