I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
