i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
