Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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