Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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