He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
