I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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