so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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