who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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