Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
