every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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