what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
