No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize