I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Soap is not a condiment
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
