So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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