So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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