:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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