yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize