If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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