My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
