her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
